Here’s a statistic that you may not have heard of. According to a study conducted by KIIROO, sixty percent of long-distance relationships do work out. So I want to assure you if you’re scared that you might lose your lover due to distance, that your relationship has a greater chance of success than you think.
All relationships are hard work, but being physically apart from your partner can make it seem like you, and your partner’s relationship won’t work out. You may feel sad, lonely, and long to see them every day. You may even have friends and family telling you that it won’t work out.
However, when you and your partner do meet, you know what you feel. When you are both reunited after spending ages apart, even the tiniest things seem extra sweet. Holding hands, kissing, going on dates, touching casually, all of these things that are taken for granted become exceptionally precious in your eyes.
And don’t you know? Gratitude is the soul of any relationship. Remaining thankful for your partner’s presence in your life makes every other nuisance seem trifling. Of course, I’m not saying long-distance relationships are easy. But if you know that it’s worth fighting for, here are five tips to make sure that you’re well-equipped for the battle ahead.
We’ll start with our first and arguably, our most important tip: communication. I’m pretty sure you already know that communication is essential in every relationship, but it is critical in long-distance relationships. So if you or your partner decide to YEET it, how are you supposed to learn what’s going on with each other when you live so far apart?
To keep your communication fluid, here are a few things to keep in mind.
I’ve always believed that lying in a relationship is equivalent to shooting yourself in the foot. Should your partner find out, you’ll have so much explaining to do, and the memory of that lie will permanently mar your relationship. This is doubly true in long-distance relationships where your partner’s words are the only thing you can believe. Even when it’s hard, staying honest can help your partner’s faith in you and your relationship remain strong.
Let Technology Help You
I’m so glad that we have cell phones and the internet now because it helps long-distance partners feel closer than ever. You can get to each other on the phone within seconds, text them constantly, and even see them through video calls. You can even send them short clips throughout today. Of course, this won’t eliminate the ache of missing them, but it can close the gap just a little bit. For those who want to keep things intimate while apart then you can also try some long distance sex toys to keep things interesting.
Share Your Insecurities
You don’t have to bear everything alone just because your partner isn’t by your side. You also shouldn’t have to put on a fake veneer of trust when you’re scared that your lover might find someone better. Share your insecurities with them. But after sharing your insecurities, you need to let their reassurance reach you and allow yourself to trust them.
Update Each Other
This is where technology helps distance makes the heart grow fonder. Keep your partner updated about your life, your goals, your everything. Had a bad day today? Whine about it. Make a new friend; you can talk about them to your partner. Constantly updating each other about your lives can help both of you feel closer than ever.
Don’t Overdo It
However, you shouldn’t over-communicate. You don’t have to share every single itty bit of your life with your partner. Even physically close couples don’t do that. You don’t even have to talk to your partner every day to be assured in your relationship. Just make sure that you’re staying honest and sharing your life with them when you do communicate.
Lay Down Some Rules
Every relationship has rules that each individual learns as they go further into the relationship. These rules usually don’t need to be spoken. Instead, they’re common relationship standards that each individual abides by within a society. Something like being faithful to your partner, for instance, is expected in every relationship and shouldn’t have to be told. But long-distance relationships aren’t the same.
Both of you need to clearly define what you need from the other person to feel loved and what you absolutely will not tolerate if you find out. Because we have the technology now, two spaces need rules.
Being in a relationship and acting like you’re not in one when you’re on the internet isn’t exactly what your partner wants to wake up to. Instead, they might need you to put a lid on those flirty comments you give on other’s pages.
In the Real World
This is the more important part: reality. You and your partner need to make each other aware of the things they can tolerate and the things they can’t. Let me clarify: your partner shouldn’t attempt or want to control your life in any way. Their rules should only enforce respect for your relationship. If it sounds like they’re excessively controlling, put on the brakes.
While you may not be able to see each other as much as you want, being in a romantic relationship with someone means that you have to be there for them emotionally and psychologically. Responding to your partner’s emotional calls, being their safe place and a shoulder for them to lean on is worth more than any gift or any words of love that you can give. Apart from sheltering them when life seems too hard, you can also be there for them in other ways.
Support Their Interests
Apart from you, what else does your partner have a passion for? Support them by showing interest when they talk about it, asking questions, and just allowing them to talk about what they love with someone who will listen. You can even learn more about their passion on your own so that you can have more conversations about it.
Remind Them What You Love About Them
Insecurities are frustrating because they sneak up on you when you’re okay and doing good. Then, suddenly you have to deal with your ugly fears making an appearance. Your partner can ease them without even knowing with a single compliment. Hearing the words, “I love your smile,” from your darling on a day when you’re feeling insecure about your teeth is just the perfect solution. And you can also do the same for your partner.
Did you know that 66% of long-distance breakups happen because the partners didn’t make plans? Yeah, well, now you do. So what’re you going to do? Make some plans for the future with your baby. Here are some areas that need specific focus.
Do Things Together Even When You’re Apart
There are lots of things you can do with your partner even though they’re not physically present. You can watch YouTube videos together by watching the same video at the same time, take a walk together while video calling, read the same books and discuss them later, have a karaoke night through Skype, etc.
Schedule Time to Be Together
You and your partner should make your schedules known to each other. By doing this, you can see your partner in their free time without infringing on their work or rest time.
Set a Date to Close the Gap
You and your partner need to set a date when you can touch each other in real life. Having a date set to meet your partner feels like a reward after a long battle and makes the distance a little shorter every day.
Make Long Term Plans
One day, you and your partner won’t need to suffer the distance anymore, but what happens after? Are you planning to move in together? Where? What will you both do for work? Is marriage in the cards?
These are questions that you need to ask yourself and your partner while you’re still distant because sometimes distance does make the heart grow fonder, and you don’t want your relationship to die off when you can see each other every day.
Respect and Boundaries
Respect the Reason That You Have to Be Apart
Your partner wants to be close to you. Of course, you also want to be close to your partner. But something important is keeping you away from them or them away from you. These are the facts, and it’s essential that neither party starts to guilt their partner into feeling worse about being away from them.
Even in a romantic relationship, there are lines you don’t cross. These lines aren’t the same for everyone, so draw yours in the sand and make sure your partner knows exactly where it is.
Spend Time with Yourself, Your Friends, and Family
Just because your lover isn’t around is no reason to become a shut-in. Keep up with your friends, visit your family, have a life to live. You and your partner will meet in person again, but you have to maintain your relationships and live your life until then.
Keeping a long-distance love alive isn’t going to be easy. You’re going to have to find ways to understand your partner even if you can’t be physically there for everything they go through. However, I believe you can have an awesome long-distance relationship with these tips and a little patience.